Unrealistic fantasies of early 20s marriages

There is a false perception surrounding the marriage institution today that a newly married couple is totally independent. There can be no doubt that greater maturity and financial stability make a difference in every successful marriage.

Many young adults are prepared for life and lack any realistic understanding of what is involved in a sexual relationship or marriage contract. The average age for first-time marriage is now 27 for women and 29 for men and this is attributed to reducing divorce rates in our society at large.

Unreadiness of early 20s

The early 20s is the age to explore your individuality and self discovery. Many couples who marry at this prime age are often unrealistic and uncertain about their future and also too excited about their relationship. The lack of preparation for a lifelong commitment coupled with unrealistic expectations from both partners seems to be common traits in marriages of couples in their early 20s and below. It is very important to search yourselves and not let your dream die young. On the other hand, if you give into marriage early, you may grow to resent your spouse and wake up one day wishing you could turn back the clock.

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Calculation is an enemy

Every aspect of our lives is calculated which is one of the greatest enemies of marriage. Many couples today postpone their weddings until they are able to fulfil all or most of their aspirations in life. You are constantly calculating every milestone set and achieved from when you have finished your first degree, then your master’s degree, got first job, bought your first car. Once you begin your career, there is certain tendency that you will postpone marriage until you are financially ready to take the bold steps.

Statistics show that couples who marry in their late 20s and early 30s are more likely to make success of their marriage due to both partners’ maturity which makes them happier and more responsible financially therefore, making divorce less likely.

Crisis management

It may also make sense to experience more than one relationship in your life to be able to fully appreciate and value your partner. Couples who have been through failed relationships in the past tend to understand how to manage their relationships and disappointments. They are also able to see their partner in a more realistic light than those who have not had any form of experience at all. They do not idolise their marriage or expect too much from their partner and they have the ability to evaluate and make compromises regarding their spouse’s mistakes.

Responsibilities

The argument for early marriage was the issue of fertility as younger women are able to conceive and have children early. But we now have a longer life span as women in their 30s can also conceive early, are better prepared and make better parents too because they are more patient and much more knowledgeable. They are also able to provide a more stable life for their children due to their striving career and financial independence